Explosions
by TheOneWithFanfiction
Summary: Penny's recently left Leonard for a cold, clinical relationship with Sheldon. Leonard's leaving, and Penny needs to realise what she's lost in order to have a chance to salvage it. Will there be a happy ending for the couple that felt explosions every time they touched?
1. Leaving Home, Again

**Hey guys! New story time, this one's going to be long, I hope! :P **

**This is written in response to all those Shenny shippers who write Leonard as a complete asshole, when in reality, he doesn't. So if you ship only Shenny, don't read it if you're easily offended! It's really for Lenny fans, and I'll always root for them, regardless of how the show pans out! **

**I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter! If you want to leave me a review about whether I should continue with this, let me know! **

**Take care! :D **

**Edit: Oh wow, I just noticed how assholeish (? :P) I made Sheldon come across as! This is the point, though. I love Sheldon as a character, trust me, he's awesome, and my favorite of the 7 main characters. I just needed to portray him this way for this story, so, uh, don't worry, he won't be as bad in other chapters if you guys don't want me to :S (If this is the first of my writing you've read, I promise I don't write Sheldon this way in any other of my fics, I just did in this one! :S)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in this story related to 'The Big Bang Theory.' **

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**_Chapter 1: Leaving home again. _**

Leonard strode confidently over to the door of his ex-lover. He'd had enough, it was time to go. For 6 years she'd treated him as her second, as if he was just a temporary fix for her, but he was done. Leonard knew that if he didn't leave, that he'd never get over her but he had the perfect window of opportunity to get out and leave while the dust was still up in the air after Penny's latest transgression. He had no desire to try and win her back, or put on a show, or throw a sob story. Life had dealt him a poor hand from the outset, and so instead of trying to fight it, Leonard was going to ride it out, and see where it landed him. As he neared her threshold, he slowed; it'd always been so easy to just throw open the door and spend time with _her. _But now, there was no attraction for Leonard to do any of that, she'd crossed a line, as had he, but once again, Leonard had to pay the consequences. He tried to push himself to just swing open the door, he wanted to be confident. But inside, he was terrified; terrified of the woman he loved. Leonard collected himself, and thought deeply, he decided that instead of seeming arrogant and volatile, he'd just tell her the honest truth, effectively ramming a knife straight into the heart of their relationship, butchering any chance of any form of romantic rekindling.

_'Romantic Rekindling my ass.' _Leonard thought to himself, chuckling slightly.

Taking the last few steps towards her door, Leonard knocked twice, and stepped back, waiting patiently. The door gently opened, and there, in all her glory stood Penny, dressed in only her pyjamas, and yet to Leonard, she was still breath-taking as ever.

_'Oh! Hi Leonard!' _Penny smiled. _'I'm just getting ready for my date with Sheldon, would you mind coming and helping me find something to wear? I really need this to go well.' _She emphasised her last point by trying to define the veins in her neck.

It left Leonard feeling sick beyond belief. She was so blunt, with no regard for his feelings at all. Just a week after she'd dumped him for Sheldon, she was already asking Leonard to help cement their relationship. It only further determined him to not give away any kind of weakness in the face of her.

_'I'm leaving.' _Leonard said slowly, letting every syllable ring out through the silent, dim hallway.

_'Oh, is Sheldon making you go pick up some stuff from the store, ooh, if you're going could yo-' _Leonard cut her off with a cold glare.

_'No, I'm leaving, for good, so, I'll see you around Penny.' _ He smiled slightly and half waved at her as he turned to pick up his suitcase that was next to the stairs.

_'Le-leaving? Sweetie, what do you mean, you can't leave, you live here.' _Penny flailed her arms slightly, chuckling nervously as she did so, taking a few steps towards Leonard.

_'I can do whatever I want Penny, I'm not a kid, it's not like I'm just running off, I've thought about this, I've arranged a new place, I've got a new job, I'm leaving nothing of importance behind.' _He coated his last words with as much venom as he could muster towards the love of his life.

Penny looked crestfallen. Her eyes were wide, and her hands were hanging limply at the side of her body as she stuttered at Leonard. His words had drawn blood, and it was falling in the form of tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

_'But, what about me, and Sheldon, and Raj, and Howard. What, what about the roommate agreement!? You can't just go, we need you, I need you.' _Penny softened as she reached out towards Leonard's arm, but he pulled away, looking at her with sadness.

_'No, you don't. You made it so, SO clear what you need. And do you honestly think I'd forget about Raj and Howard, not to mention Amy and Bernadette? I'm going to keep in heavy contact with them, and I'll see them at every opportunity that I can. I love them; they're the best things that happened ever happened to me.' _He tilted his head, before dropping it. Penny hadn't replied, but had instead stormed over to 4A to try and get her new boyfriend to support her point. She slammed against the door hysterically, not stopping until Sheldon swung open the door sighing as he did so.

_'Ugh, Penny, what fresh Hell is this? What do you want?' _He stared at her with steely eyes until he spotted Leonard standing off to the side of the door, staring at him with disgust. He immediately changed.

_'Oh, Penny! What a delight! How are you?' _He forcefully pulled his girlfriend to stand beside him, arm around her neck, causing her to stumble as she fell towards him.

She looked at Leonard with pleading eyes as she explained her situation to Sheldon.

_'Well, Leonard. I'm afraid you can't leave, because I need a rent monkey that's easily whipped, and you fit the brief perfectly. So why don't you come back inside, make us all some tea, and then go and listen to some sad music while I take __**your **__ex-girlfriend out for a nice dinner.' _He smiled evilly at Leonard as he tried to get some sort of rise out of him. When he did nothing but sigh and start descending the stairs, Sheldon pushed Penny away from him, rubbing his hands against his shirt in disgust before slamming the door in her face. She was shocked at just how vile Sheldon could be; he'd just rubbed dirt into an open wound, worsening it tenfold. She was snapped out of her disturbing reverie as she heard a suitcase being dragged slowly down stairs. Through watery eyes, she stormed down the first two flights to catch up to where Leonard was.

_'Leonard!' _She screamed as she ran in front of him, leaving him unable to descend any further.

_'Penny, just get out of the way, I'm not in the mood for this, at all.' _Now it was his turn to look at her pleadingly.

_'No, I can't let you leave, Leonard! Where are you going, what's going to happen to your apartment, and hang out nights!? I thought you were happy with your life!' _

_'You were my life, Penny. You filled my every thought, your smile made me smile, your love made me feel wanted. Now that's all gone, I can't just hang around as you start a life with my roommate, I'm sorry. Please, if you even care in the slightest about my feelings, you'll get out of the way, and let me try and move on, I want to live a life that won't be filled with reminders about what could've been, maybe even start a family.' _He choked up at the last words, letting his head fall towards the ground, he'd been determined not to cry, but he was failing.

_'I- I'm sorry, Leonard. So, so sorry that I couldn't give you what you needed, I'm just, not ready for this, I can't commit myself, I'm so, so sorry.' _She repeated sorry over and over, each time becoming quieter, and once she'd become silent, she moved her arm from the wall, leaving him free to leave.

_'Do I get a goodbye, Leonard?' _Penny was wailing, her body wracked with sobs as he stood in front of her, with a once again steely gaze upon his face.

He sighed, before stepping back towards her, placing his bag back down onto the floor as he grabbed her hands, gently swaying them as he talked.

_'I'm sorry that I couldn't be someone I'm not, I'm sorry that I trapped you in a relationship that you felt so bored in. I wish you nothing but happiness with everything, and maybe one day, when I see your face on that poster for the next Hollywood blockbuster, I can smile, knowing that I was in love with the next Angelina Jolie.' _They both laughed gently, as Leonard wiped tears away from her eyes, something that would have been of so little significance just a week ago._ 'I'm going to miss you more than I can even put into words, so much that I'll never be able to face seeing you again. I love you Penny, so much, and now I can finally release you, because you did it for me. Goodbye, angel.' _Overcome with a sudden wave of emotion, he leaned in, softly placing his hands on her face, pressing his lips onto hers, sending waves of electricity chorusing through Penny. Leonard felt little, other than remorse, and heartbreak.

He turned, and started to walk down the stairs, leaving Penny standing motionless. Her emotions were a whirlpool, she was still recovering from feeling his lips on hers, the kiss had been so different, so electrifying, exciting! Something she knew that she'd never have with Sheldon. There'd be no intimacy, save for the cold, harsh pettings, followed by sanitizer and a long shower on Sheldon's part to rid himself of her germs, leaving Penny alone and cold. She'd never feel that same rush after making love that she had with Leonard; she'd never spend a night wrapped up in his arms, as he gently rocked her into a peaceful sleep. She'd never be shown love, or kindness. She was just an object that was to boost Sheldon's ego even more. And she was regretting it already.

She bolted down the last two flights of stairs, suddenly very certain of her feelings. It was her last shot to make him stay, it was all she had.

_'Leonard!' _She shouted out once more, catching him just as he was picking up the last of his mail.

He ignored her as he turned and headed towards the door.

_'I love you.' _She said, it was quiet, but to the two of them, it was deafening.

Leonard turned to look at her, and raised his head as he swung open the door, she was losing him.

_'I'm sure you did, once.' _

Time slowed as Penny watched him walk out on her life forever. She wept as he smiled sadly at her before stepping through the door, swinging shut behind him as he left home for the second time in his life. It had been unmistakable, though, the feeling between them. It had been explosive, charged and left fireworks ricocheting around the building.

Penny had lost. The tears didn't stop as she slowly climbed the stairs, where a cold, clinical man waited for her at the top of them.


	2. A Night Spent Alone

**Alright, hey guys, firstly, I want to give you my thanks for all the reviews and feedback on the first chapter! I'm just going to clear up something, I'm only writing Sheldon this way because I'm sick of Leonard getting bashed so much in Shenny fics! I wouldn't write him like this normally, but the plot that's running through my head has a reason why it had to be Sheldon. It's all going to be explained in detail, and I did leave a hint as to why Sheldon might have stole Penny from Leonard, but it was ****_really _****subtle :P **

**In this chapter, I'm explaining the reasons of why Penny left Leonard, and next chapter I'm explaining a conversation she had with Sheldon, so, they'll hopefully clear up a few questions you might have :)**

**Oh, the update basis I'm going to have on this is going to probably be 3-4 times a week, no less than 3, maybe more than 4 dependent on the reaction to the last chapter. I'm also not going to put Authors notes in many chapters of this, so you won't have to read my deluded crappy thoughts :P **

**Hope you enjoy this one! It's kind of a shocker, I hope! **

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**_Chapter 2: A night alone. _**

Penny was sitting on her couch, still dumbfounded at what had just happened. The man that was supposedly in love with her, had just walked out from her life, without fuss, anger, bitterness or spite. He left with gracious words, pretty much forgiving Penny for crumpling his heart again. But what he didn't understand was just how crumpled _she _was, there was no real justification for leaving him the way she did, but she was scared, more than scared, she was petrified. She had no idea as to how he would have reacted to her news. All she knew was that running off terrified was probably one of the worst things she could've done, but in typical Penny fashion she had.

Life had always been hard for Penny, but it was about to get a whole lot worse. Just a week ago, she'd found out that she'd had not one, but two severe ailments that would affect her for the rest of her life. Penny had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and it had left her shaken to the core. For the rest of her life whenever she hit a low, which was often, she'd have to rely on anti-depressants like citalopram, she'd no longer have the man she'd loved to be her 'piggybacker' through the rough times. Penny so wished that Leonard would've seen the pleading looks she gave her as she broke up with him, she'd prayed that he'd have questioned her motive, called her out or had just said something. But just like Leonard, he left silently, not putting up a fight, and as she'd watched him leave her apartment, Penny knew that her heart was breaking more than his. He'd broken his promise to her, Leonard had sworn on his very life to always be there for her, regardless of their romantic situation, and he'd just left, without warning, leaving Penny against the world entirely. Of course, she had 5 other close friends, well, 4 close friends and one deluded, arrogant one, who was now more than just a friend, but they'd never be able to smile so reassuringly at her like Leonard had, they'd never be able to kiss her in places that made her legs weak and her heart flutter. None of them would hold her at night as she cried as Leonard had done so many times; he'd been all she could have asked for and more. But she didn't want to force Leonard to stay with a mentally ill, depressed girl when he could have so much more with a women life Alex. Penny had tried so hard to push those thoughts out of her head, she knew that it was the Bipolar screwing with her head, planting seeds of doubt anywhere they could, the doctor had even reassured her that it was completely normal for someone mentally ill to question and lose faith in everything. That's what the drugs had been for, but it wasn't who she was, she'd always gotten through things alone, until Leonard had graced her life, but now he was gone again, she was alone; so, so alone. Despair would have embodied Penny perfectly; she had no ambition, no direction, no money, no intimacy and no love. Just panic and terror that was life was going to consume her whole.

The thought of Sheldon and love made Penny shudder, she'd never been attracted to him with any emotion's that weren't platonic, and she still wasn't. But he'd been so _damn _convincing. The once amusing knock brought Penny out of her thoughts and she shouted out to the closed door shakily:

_'Come in, it's open.' _

_'Oh, Penny good! Well, since you're obviously just hitting your stride with your latest menstrual cycle, I'm not going to spend an evening listening to your bellyaching, for alas, even people with hearts as kind as mine cannot stand the wrath of a Nebraskan, if you need me, which I hope you don't, I'll be at Amy's. Have a good night now.' _And with a brief koala smile he was gone, swinging the door shut behind him.

Repulsed, she stood and ran into her bedroom, curling into a ball, wishing for nothing else but for someone to take the pain that felt away from here, someone to lift the weight from her shoulders, even just for a minute. Sheldon's words rang through her head, he'd been the one that had convinced her to crush Leonard, and he'd sworn to make her happy, make her forget what she could've had with Leonard.

But she couldn't have had any of that with him, because Bipolar disorder hadn't been the only plague that had wrecked her life that day. As well as Sheldon's words, Leonard's played through her head on a permanent repeat.

_'Maybe even start a family.' _She remembered how choked, how broken and scarred he sounded and she remembered how she had felt the same. It had only happened a few hours ago, and yet Penny knew the memory and the feeling would never dim. She remembered how he'd said that she'd released him, in turn allowing him to do the same. She didn't want to; God knew she didn't want to. But she just couldn't give Leonard what he longed for so much, and it tore her apart. It wasn't because she didn't want to, she'd dreamed of being 'Mrs. Penny Hofstadter', she had dreamed of her perfect dress, her perfect engagement ring, she'd dreamed of having smart and beautiful babies running around a country home somewhere in a valley, she'd dreamt of growing old with Leonard, sending their children off to college as they shared tears of overwhelming joy. But the shroud of bliss had been torn apart as the doctor took her dreams from her, not one of acting, or fame; but of her real dreams of having a proper life. All gone with just a single word.

_'That's not all, I'm afraid.' _Her doctor had said.

_'Oh my God, please, don't tell me its cancer.' _Penny had practically screeched.

_'Oh my! No no Penny, it's just that, that,'_ He'd paused, trying to find the perfect way of sentencing her hopes to the gallows.

_'You're infertile, Penny.' _The stare he'd given her was filled with sympathy, but Penny already had already felt as if he'd been looking at her differently, just because of her mental illness. The walls had closed in on her, doubts had immediately filled her head, leaving it ready to explode, the pressure had built, she had been ready to pass out, the world was turning black.

And then, she was back in her room, her cold, silent room all alone, as she cried herself off into a dark, disturbed sleep.

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**And there it is, the stake in the heart of Leonard and Penny's relationship revealed. The hammer blow will be in the next chapter, when Penny went to receive guidance from Sheldon on her situation, and what happened. **

**I have quite a bit of personal experience with mental illness, but if any of what I've written is medically incorrect, please call me out on it so I can change it! :)**

**Reviews are welcomed, if you wanna tell me what you think! **

**Take care! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So much for the 3-4 times a week thing then, huh? :S **

**Well here's number 3, it's Leonard's POV next, and the next L/P interaction will be probably a few chapters, depends where I want to drop the chapter in. **

**I hope you enjoy it, and if you want to drop me a review then that'd be schweettt as always :) **

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Penny lay on her side, beside herself, wailing hysterically, balling her eyes out. She'd expected the tears to run dry and come to a halt, but they didn't, the longer she kept weeping, the heavier it became.

Penny knew that other people could hear her, but she didn't care. She wanted Leonard, she wanted him so much. Penny missed everything about him, it'd been just over a week since he'd left, and that week for Penny had consisted in multiple breakdowns at work, and once her boss had learnt why, he suspended her with full pay, insisting that she needed to recuperate, and that she needed time to learn to live with her new found, what she called 'Mega Lows.' It had involved binge eating beyond belief, watching every Jennifer Aniston film she could find, as well as watching all ten seasons of Friends, and then re-watching every episode that heavily involved Ross and Rachel angst and tragedy. She'd almost laughed at how alike their relationships were, it was like her life was almost written as if it was a sitcom. Dinner had consisted of whatever Bernadette could bring her from dinner at Leonard's. She'd never call it Sheldon's apartment for as long as she lived, that home had been Leonard's, without him it was just a house, well, apartment. She remembered her parents telling her an old saying when she'd asked why they never changed the furniture.

_'Well Penny, a house can be as beautiful as anything, it could have the most __**incredible **__decoration, it could be massive, but a house without love and family will never be a home.' _

She smiled, Penny was nostalgic, and she missed Nebraska, so very much. Of course she'd never dream of going back, there was nothing there for her, but she was very quickly finding life at Los Robles was becoming unbearable without her soul mate. She'd not seen Sheldon once since Leonard had left, and at first she thought that he'd been silently mourning for the loss of his best friend, but she soon found out he was really just trying to avoid her by spending more time out, away from 4B.

She wasn't sure what had provoked the change in Sheldon, of course he'd always been narcissistic, selfish, arrogant and condescending, but he'd still had a kind streak. It had now all but disappeared, and she wondered why. Sure Leonard had been the one to receive Tenure, and sure he'd been the one to receive highest honours in the Physics department for his work on the Cyclic Multiverse theorem, and sure, he'd been sent a congratulatory E-mail from Stephen Hawking and Peter Higgs. But she didn't see why Sheldon cared so much; it'd been such a massive achievement in science, even Penny knew that! He'd won some sort of prize every year in one way or another, so what was wrong with Leonard getting some recognition for once? Sheldon constantly chastised and aggravated Leonard about his work, about how it was simply pointless and that his work was of the standard of a child's. Sheldon had been nothing but petulant about the whole situation, they'd thrown Leonard a congratulatory party, and of course everyone had showed up, even Leslie Winkle, except for Sheldon, he had decided that a better use of his evening would be trying to convince his friends at the train shop to harass Leonard's Facebook. It was all so strange, Sheldon had always claimed that he needed no one's praise but his own, but when it came down to it, if the spotlight wasn't shining on him, he'd become someone almost evil. He was almost like Jekyll and Hyde, but the monster had been released and Penny wasn't sure if the human side was coming back at all.

She continued this thought tree for quite some time until her dry throat became very apparent to her. She heaved herself out of bed, shivering as she did so, deciding that she should wrap up warm; she grasped her comforter and threw it around her shoulders, jumping slightly with the little energy had to try and warm up. She half walked half crawled towards her kitchen to make herself some tea, but stopped dead in her tracks upon reaching her fridge. Two things caught her eye, the first being a list of bills which were of course, unpaid. But the second thing that her eye gazed upon was the picture of her and Leonard touching noses at the beach the previous summer. It'd been a day of pure joy, without any of the complications that their lives held. It was just a day spent with loved ones.

_Loved ones._

Penny choked as she thought about those two words. So simple, and yet to Penny it was so much more. Tears still streamed freely, but they'd now intensified, and Penny was struggling for breath. She'd never been so hysterical, so out of control and so upset in her life. She had tried so hard to convince herself that it wasn't as bad as she was making out, and that maybe Sheldon was right, she was overreacting, it was just a boy.

But when she thought about it, and oh boy had she, Penny knew he was more than 'Just a boy', he was her everything. No one else had ever taken off his pants in a public place for his girlfriend after finding out her dress had a tear in it. No one else had ever spent full days off work just lying in bed talking to Penny about their dreams and fears. No one else had ever told her that they loved her, and meant it.

He controlled her heart, and with everything he did it affected her too. The passion they shared was undeniable, even to someone incapable of understanding emotion. So many times they'd become lost in each other's eyes, leaving dinner and a set of friends forgotten. But it wasn't just the passion, or the heat that they shared. It was the underlying tenderness and care that their relationship had, the gentle hugs, or the stroking of a hand, the smiles and laughs that disrupted their kisses so often, the rubbing of noses as she sat on his lap. It was all so surreal, and she knew it was something she'd _never _have with Sheldon. He had his pros, but the intimacy that had increased tenfold since her trip to the doctors she so craved and desired was something he'd never be able to give her. Any talks they'd have at night would be from separate sides of the bed, they'd be meticulous, scientific and academic talks about something new he was studying at work. There'd be no spontaneous lovemaking, no tickle or play fights or the pleasure of a partners embrace.

_Lovemaking. _It boggled Penny that she hadn't called it sex. But to them, it was always so much more. It was the way he took her to new levels and made her feel so loved when they did, the way he held her afterwards, and stroked her hair until she fell off to sleep, how he'd whisper sweet things in her ear as she arose the morning after, leaving her with a smile for the rest of the day. But she fucked it all up, and ran, but not because she was scared, because she was terrified, terrified of having her heart crushed, and crushing his heart when she dropped the bombshell of no babies, and mental illness.

Once again Penny forced herself out of her deep train of thought, and made herself inch towards her mug cupboard, grabbing for the largest one, instead of throwing a teabag in as she normally would; she took a bottle of Baileys from under her sink, and filled the large mug to the brim.

Carrying it through to her bedroom, she placed it timidly onto the small bedside table, and then threw herself back down, once again cocooning herself in her comforter. Penny brought her knees up to her chest, and closed her eyes as she let out a deep sigh. The craving for alcohol was subdued as thoughts of Leonard filled her head once again, and she wanted to see where they took her, she needed an answer to her questions, even if it meant hurting herself.

In any other relationship, a week after a break up usually meant that she'd already be with someone new, or at least trying to make herself feel momentarily better through meaningless encounters. But this time she was left almost immobile, she wanted to blame the news her doctor had given her, but deep down she so very much knew that it was Leonard's absence that was causing her the distress she was in.

Once again shaking her head, deciding it was futile, Penny pulled a pillow from the other side of the bed, _his _pillow, and buried her face into it, still crying into it as she once again stood up, and moved towards her sofa, falling over it as she had done so many times before when she was too lazy to simply sit down. Grabbing the remote from the coffee table in front of her, she threw whatever she could find first on the TV on, and absentmindedly watched, refusing to let her mid traverse it's way to Leonard, Sheldon or anything related to love.


	4. Chapter 4: Start of the End

**It starts as a fluffy flashback, and gets sad, real sad. Not really anything else to say, except for the fact that I own nothing, whatsoever. **

Leonard vaulted up the stairs towards 4B, today was a beautiful day, he was in love with the embodiment of perfection, he was having Indian for dinner, and he'd just been granted tenure. Yes, today was indeed a great day. Smiling goofily he knocked on Penny's door, giddily waiting to be able to tell someone the good news. As the door swung open unto him, he pulled the flowers from behind his back and smiled as Penny grinned widely.

_'Hey honey, what's this about? Lilies?! I love lilies! ' _She grinned, almost jumping.

_'I just think that my girlfriend deserves to be treated like a princess more often, that's all.' _He smiled, kissing her after she had taken the flowers. Before long, as always, it escalated into more. Her hands were wrapped up in his hair, and his arms were firmly on her waist as they lay on her couch.

_'Maybe we should wait until this evening.' _Leonard whispered after he'd playfully bit her neck.

_'Awww, but Leonard, you got me all, uhhh, riled up, let's say.' _She grinned cheekily as she pulled back, her hair hanging loosely in front of his face. She blew it up with lacklustre effort, before Leonard hooked it behind her ear, before breaking into laughter.

_'What?' _Penny pouted, trying to decipher why Leonard was laughing.

'_It's just, I've never been this happy, in all my life. And without you, I don't know what I'd do, you mean so much to me, I'll never let anything happen to you, I promise. I guess I just don't think about how much you really impacted my life, I love you.' _He was looking deeply into her eyes, she was almost entranced, hypnotised by the loving, yet extremely intense gaze he was giving her.

_'I know, sweetie, I'm the same, the feeling when I'm with you is almost otherworldly, and when we're alone, I forget the rest of the world exists, I love feeling safe in your arms, and I love you, I can't believe it took me so goddamned long to admit it, I feel so stupid, you know? All the time we wasted apart, when everything was so blindingly cle-' _

_'Shh, that doesn't matter, I promise, what matters is us right now, and where we'll be in the coming months.' _Leonard paused and looked off into space momentarily. _'Hey, it's like an hour until I've gotta go get dinner, who says a long shower is out of order?' _Leonard could feel his sides practically splitting as he saw Penny sprint straight through to the bathroom and heard the shredding of clothes and the burst of the shower hitting the bath. She was one of a kind, and nothing could ever make him stop loving her.

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Leonard lay in bed that night, with a lightly snoring Penny curled tightly into a ball against his chest. Something was bugging him, everything was so perfect, but something was so out of place, the whole world had taken a grey streak ever since the thought of telling Sheldon about tenure had crossed his mind. He could just imagine the reaction, the fit, the rage, the insults and the weeks of mocking, but he knew that he'd have Penny, and together they could get through anything, their relationship was strong now; it meant something to the two of them, and it kept Leonard sane through all of the hardship he faced from his roommate day in day out. But, as much as he hated to admit it, he _did _love Sheldon; he was a brother to Leonard, and he couldn't imagine a life without him. The bond they shared was weird, but it was strong, and it meant something to the two of them, Leonard was happy, everything was turning up Milhouse; he smiled, kissed Penny on the head, and settled into her bed, resting his head above hers, dreamily drifting off into a blissf-

Bullshit.

All of it, bullshit.

Leonard drew his head from the bowl of cold water, spluttering, he grabbed the razor and shaving foam from the shelf, and absentmindedly started to shave as his head ran free.

He was so innocent, so unknowing, unaware and weak. He was deluded and childish, love had left him open to being hurt, and he'd naively thought he'd be ok. But if there was one thing Leonard had learnt, there was always a catch.

He was smart; his mother was clinical and brutal in her ways of education.

He was empathic; he was never shown love, he needed to feel others hurt, he needed to make sure they never felt the same.

The lists went on and on, he should've known everything that had happened was coming his way.

Leonard remembered that night with such a warm place in his heart, he remembered the whipped cream fight they'd had when they'd gone to get it for the non-lactose members of the group, Penny had figured that if Leonard was going to be left out, so would everyone else.

Always so caring, so kind, compassionate and loving, even if she'd had trouble saying it. But it was all lies, love wasn't so easily discarded, but she'd had no trouble in leaving him for the alpha male of the group, and that's what hurt the most. And now, here he was, alone and pathetic in his mother's home, as he lived in limbo, without direction, he was aimlessly wondering, the road was to become his bride, for he had nowhere, except for wherever he did roam.

Putting the razor back in its jar, Leonard stumbled to his bed, pulling the superman sheets back, before stopping dead in his tracks midway through climbing in. He looked at them in sudden disgust, throwing them from his bed against the wall, he was a child, he always would be, no wonder Penny had left him, nothing but a goddamned child.

He curled up into a ball, and weeped into his pillow as despair and the agony of the last few days hit him. Crying was for the weak, but he couldn't help it, his life was over.

* * *

_**'A tout le monde**_  
_**A tout mes amis**_  
_**Je vous aime**_  
_**Je dois**__**partir**__'_


	5. Chapter 5 Penny, Let's Talk

**Hey guys, the chapter where Sheldon and Penny talk is finally up! This chapter is kind of long, and that's because I tried to make this as feasible as possible, obviously it'd have taken multiple chapters to really pen out any real persuasion by Sheldon, so I tried my best to keep it under 3000 words, but still make it so you guys got the jist of I guess what this story's Sheldon is like. (Not real Sheldon, he's nice, I like him, this Sheldon is mean, and you're meant to dislike him :P) Sorry again about how bad the updating has been on this, didn't meant for it to happen! **

**I hope you enjoy it, I tried to make it as lighthearted as possible for what it is, so I hope you enjoy it, feel free to drop me a review if you'd like, good or bad, if it's constructive, I'd love to hear any and all suggestions! Have a great day! **

**As usual: I own nothing, I'm not doing it for monetary or commercial gain in any way. 'The Big Bang Theory' is the property of Chuck Lorre and CBS, I'm just doing this because I like the show, and hate that I've got to wait until Se****ptember 27th for Season 7. **

* * *

Sheldon sat at his desk, head resting on his hands that were resting upon the table. He was deep in thought, trying to think of a surefire way to make sure Leonard would be severely punished for his transgressions. Not only had he had the audacity to even run for tenure, he'd done it, knowing full well that Sheldon had been running too! The sheer nerve sent a chill right down Sheldon's back, leaving him with an overwhelming sense of vehement anger towards Leonard. It was an almost indescribable rage; it was filling him, and crushing all sense of pride and warmth he felt towards his best friend. It was all consuming, it was evil.

Sheldon didn't like this feeling, he didn't like that he was quivering, and he didn't like the pure feeling of apathy within him. But what he really didn't like was that he'd changed so much over just the space of three years, he remembered the betrayal of the North Pole, and how his reaction to it had been to cower and cry, and now, something had arisen that paled in comparison to those events, and here he was, trying to think of a way to crush Leonard like a bug.

_'What is __**wrong **__with me?' _Sheldon thought to himself for a moment. _'Eh, who cares.' _

He picked up the container of Chinese from its place on his desk, and for the second time that night, he chastised himself for doing things so Un-Sheldon, not only was he not sitting in his spot, but he wasn't downstairs doing laundry. It was a weird Saturday evening, one he'd expected to be filled with fun; that had actually turned out to be a dark, grim, yet inviting evening.

The punishment he'd decided on was a glorious one; it would crush Leonard into dust, leaving his remnants cowering and crying, something so evil, that even Sheldon had not considered it before.

He'd steal, and destroy Leonard's most prized possession.

Sheldon tiptoed towards Leonard room, making sure not to alarm the still empty apartment (Leonard had taken Penny out for a 'Romantic Dinner', and was no doubt either still out, or staying in her filthy apartment.) before coming to a gradual halt by Leonard's door. Sheldon stopped for a moment, pondering whether he really wanted to do this, it made him convulse and quiver inside, but it had to be done, for retribution and for revenge! Silently, he turned the knob and slid into the dark room. Immediately heading to Leonard's bed, he pulled the comics from under his bed, opening the cardboard flaps ever so gently, as if they were glass. Going to the bottom of the pile, Sheldon instinctively pulled the comic at the very pit of the box. He was really going to do this! The thought made him smile with an evil, rueful glee. Standing up with the comic in hand he now went to Leonard's stationary drawer, and pulled the largest pair of scissors he could find from within it.

In his hand, Sheldon held 'Marvel Action Comics 1: Featuring Superman.' The item which Sheldon believed to be Leonard's most prized possession. He recalled the story of how Leonard had found the item 20 years prior, and had bought it for just $250. And now, years later, it was nearing a $55,000 value, of course Leonard had no idea of this; otherwise he'd be in his own apartment, living with the blonde bimbo he called his girlfriend. It was funny, that Leonard had no clue about the valuation of the comic, but he knew that he'd be devastated once Sheldon told him, agh yes, revenge was indeed sweet.

He lifted the scissors to cut it, but as he was, Sheldon heard the apartment door slowly open and close. With the comic behind his back, he ran out into the hall to see who was intruding on his master plan.

_Penny. _

Standing there in her robe and purple slippers stood Penny, looking scared and slightly apprehensive at what Sheldon would have to say.

_'Uhh, Sheldon, hi, I-I just needed to grab some milk so me and Leonard can make some pancakes in the morning.' _She looked as though she had been crying, obviously Leonard's abilities at coitus had appalled her once again, and so she needed to be away from him, he'd wondered why she'd never done it before, but he lost his train of thought as he heard the fridge open, and saw the light fill the room. Against his better judgement, he decided that he'd ask her what was wrong, even to him, it was clear she was distressed.

_'Penny, I know that-that I am not a master of reading emotion, but I can safely assume that you are in quite a lot of emotional distress, am I right?' _He fidgeted nervously, looking into his hands as he waited for an angry Penny to tell him to shut his mouth, but that answer never came.

_'Oh my God, even you can see it!' _She wailed. _'I'm screwed, so so screwed, oh god, oh god!' _He could hear her breathing start to hasten, and knew what was coming. He walked to the fridge, gently nudged her stasis body away from himself and pulled the brown sandwich bag from within, taking out the soy sauce that Leonard had picked up for him, he handed the bag to Penny and instructed her to breath heavily into it. Guiding her to the couch as he did so, Sheldon went to turn on the main light. Turning back around, he moved swiftly to the couch, comic still in one hand. Placing it on the small table behind him, Sheldon once again turned around and faced Penny, taking a deep breath he asked her:

'_Penny, why are you sad?' _He didn't sound so much empathic as he did curious, but Penny assumed he must've been trying his hardest.

_'Because Sheldon, I'm a quivering wreck! I'm tired, stuck in a dead end job chasing a dream that gets further away with each passing day! I feel so alone, I'm depressed and on top of that I'll never have Leonard's children!' _She threw herself forward into her lap, crying heavily as she did so, leaving Sheldon both shocked, and uncomfortable. He was about to open his mouth to say something filled to the brim with genius, as he always did, before he stopped in his tracks and turned his head away. Another, most grim thought had swum into his head, he was not one to take advantage of a damsel in distress, but the opportunity was oh so perfect. The adrenaline that was fuelling him to destroy Leonard's comic book was all but diffused completely; he couldn't destroy something of such beauty, only a fool would. But now, another twist of fate had arisen, and it was in Sheldon's favour. Just as he knew that 26 electrons were in a single iron particle, he also knew that when upset, a human was ever so easy to have their will bent. Of course, this wasn't as good as the comic book, but it was a close second. He safely assumed Penny was the third or fourth most important thing that Leonard had in his life, behind work and himself, because Sheldon was always more important than anyone else, no exceptions. He turned back towards her, and was surprised to see her looking so intently at him, biting her bottom lip.

_'Sheldon, I did __**not **__mean to say all of that, I'm just struggling, promise me, that you won't __**dare**__ tell Leonard any of what I've told you here.' _Her eyes had steeled over, and the intensity was all the more intensified. _'I love Leonard so much, and I can never give him what he wants, a family. It kills me, and I'm sure that this fucking bipolar isn't going to come in handy with how bad I feel already. I just couldn't be around him tonight, he's so perfect. We went to dinner, ordered the nicest food; went for the most beautiful evening beach walk; came back to my apartment, and once I'd told him that my feet were hurting, he'd rushed to grab me a bowl with warm water to put them in; he wrapped me up in my comforter, got a stack of movies out that he knew I loved, and we watched them until I fell asleep; when I woke up I was in bed with Leonard lying next to me, gently snoring with his laptop on his stomach, he looked so adorable and perfect. And all I could think about how when I tell him about all of this it'll make him fall out of love with me, cause him to hate me, find someone better, and have beautiful children with. I can't believe I've lost him, and the longer I wait to tell him, the more he'll hate me.'_ Penny paused to try and compose herself. _'Tell me what to do Sheldon, I'm so desperate, I don't know who to turn to.' _She was quivering,

It was now or never.

_'You know, Penny, you wouldn't have these problems if you were with me, you see I ha-' _

'_What the Hell are you talking about, Sheldon? I'm really not in the mood for this.'_

Upset at the rude interruption, Sheldon continued, with more vigour this time.

_'I mean,' _He said through gritted teeth, _'If you were in a contractually binding relationship with me, you wouldn't be so conflicted, the bipolar, easily countered! The infertility, fantastic, for you see, I have __**no **__desire to be a father, even less to go through nine months of a female whining about her petty contractions and aching feet. Not to mention, there'd be no lack of interesting factoids, cleanliness in your apartment, and banana bread, let's say every seven days. Of course, this would be required to be drawn up in a somewhat formal manner, but who knows, I know you're into the whole hippy-dippy thing, so maybe you can wheedle in some of your requests.' _

_'Are you kidding me Sheldon? I don't even know how broken you are to suggest something like that, Leonard is your __**best friend**__ and you'd be willing to leave him to help me out with my problems? No, I don't buy it, what's really going on?' _

_'Well Penny, it may not occur to you, but Leonard and I have recently come to conclusion that our friendship was not beneficial, and so we decided that we'd simply be roommates, with no further obligations or pleasantries than sharing bills. This leaves me with no obligation to respect him, and being the good friend I am, I would indeed be willing to help you through these so called hard times.' _He gave her a traditional Sheldon smile, and proceeded to gently tap her on the knee, the steps he'd taken with physical contact had been astounding, and it would no doubt help win over someone with such a crazy libido. He wasn't keen to make touching a regular thing, and when writing up a relationship agreement, he'd make sure to take advantage of her low intellect and fill it to the brim with fine text changes and clauses.

_'I can't Sheldon, I'm so in love with Leonard, it's not fair to him, and it's not fair on Amy! We don't have feelings for each other, how is this ever going to work?' _

Sheldon was not a liar, but he was willing to do what needed to be done to get his way.

_'Well, Leonard is not a problem, for he's already told me that with his newfound Tenure, he'd try finding a new, larger place, that would accommodate his ego, or as he liked to call it, his ''Good Fortune''.' _

_'What? He never told me that, you're lying to me, Leonard wouldn't do that to me!' _She was standing up, staring with conviction at Sheldon, willing him to show any sign that he was lying.

_'Am I a liar? Would I lie about something as delicate as your relationship or his betrayal? No Penny, I'm simply trying to protect you from Leonard. You see. I'm already putting you before myself!' _

_'Sheldon, I can't see myself without a relationship, and even more so, I can't see myself in a relationship without Leonard, I don't think it'd be fair to you to use you to make myself feel better.' _

The main obstacle was quickly disintegrating, Leonard. He'd so easily twisted her, it astounded even him. This truly was becoming a night filled with events.

_'Don't worry about me Penny, I simply care about you! Did you ever see the film with Jennifer Aniston in called ''The object of my Affection''?'_

_'Of course,' _she sniffled _'I've seen all of her films, why?' _

_'Well, we could assume our relationship to be like theirs, it's beneficiary to the both of us, but if either of us feel the need to end it, then there is no obligation not to.' _

_'But what about Amy? You guys are finally moving forward, what does this mean for you guys?' _

_'Well, I'm sure she'd understand, she loves you like a sister, and she'd want nothing more than for you to recover, and if I am the way to help you do that, I'm sure she'd grant me her blessing.' _

_'Shel-Sheldon, you have to understand how hard this is for me. I don't want to hurt Leonard, if we do this; you have to tell him, because I can't. You cannot tell him the truth, because I never want him to know, and finally, you cannot assume this to be like a real relationship, because I do not have feelings for you, It's just to help each other out, okay?' _

_'Of course Penny, I'd have it no other way!' _He gave her his Koala smile, hoping that she was too far gone to notice, for inside he felt no happiness, just grim satisfaction in what he was doing.

_'Wait, how is this beneficiary for you?' _Penny asked inquisitively, the tears having almost all but stopped.

It was lucky Sheldon was a quick thinker.

_Well Penny, as you know, I'm in a relationship currently that is quickly becoming too intense. I feel that if I can spend some time away from it, when I go back to it, I can give Amy what she needs.' _

_'Hey, who knows, maybe-maybe me and Leonard can do the same.' _She smiled hopefully with tear rimmed eyes, maybe time was all they needed, and Sheldon could really help bridge the rift in Penny's heart, and the wounds she had inside of her head.

Sheldon was laughing on the inside, there was simply no hope for the two of them, they were too dysfunctional.

_'Yes, maybe. Time apart is a great healer, and don't worry, I'll ease it on to Leonard, and make sure that no aggression heads your way from his corner.' _

_'Ok then, I'll do it, Sheldon. Thank you for everything, you are a true friend, don't worry about the milk, Leonard will be back before breakfast.' _

_'Of course Penny, sleep well now, try and rest.' _He smiled once more, before guiding her to the door and rushing her out of the apartment. He wiped his forehead, he had been perspiring slightly, it had been a tough few minutes. But it was worth it; he'd done it, lied without panicking, and fooled Penny into believing he had perfect intentions.

Sheldon was sure he felt guilt somewhere inside of him, but it was so outweighed by the feeling of victory that it had little effect on him. He took the milk from the island and slid it back into the fridge, and proceeded to put back Leonard's comic and scissors, art was not something to be ruined, even Sheldon knew that much. Sliding into bed he turned his small lamp off, smiling to himself as he drifted off into a warm sleep.

Unbeknownst to Sheldon, he'd singlehandedly taken the most important thing in Leonard's life away from him in the space of just five minutes. He preyed on the weakness of a frail woman so in love with Leonard that she was willing to leave him in hopes to better herself, in futile hope of one day having Leonard return to her arms. It was Leonard's last night of sanctity and peace, because the next day would wreak havoc on his unsuspecting heart.

* * *

**_'Don't remember where I was_**  
**_I realized life was a game_**  
**_The more seriously I took things_**  
**_The harder the rules became_**  
**_I had no idea what it'd cost_**  
**_My life passed before my eyes_**  
**_I found out how little I accomplished_**  
**_All my plans denied'_**


	6. Tired of never being good enough

**Hey guys, just wanted to say that I was really overwhelmed by the feedback to the last chapter, I was expecting it to be really controversial with how I portrayed Sheldon and all, and so I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone! In a few guest reviews I got, they said that I should get Leonard to stop feeling sorry for himself and to try and move on, and I really agreed, so uh, I guess that you can guess that the whole Stella Karin character isn't just going to be Leonard's counselor! I'm also punishing Penny, if you couldn't tell, but I promise, the story will probably have a happy ending ;)**

**This is also the first chapter in which L/P interact, kind of, you'll see what I mean, I hope you enjoy it, sorry it's short!**

**As always, I'm doing this because I like writing stuff, and I like Leonard and Penny, but I don't own them, which sucks I guess. And I also don't own the rights to any other brands I've mentioned here, which doubly sucks! :P **

* * *

Penny looked at the alarm clock, 6:15. It'd been over a year since she'd woken so early, and that'd only been to see Leonard off as he went to some physics do-thingy.

Leonard.

The thought of him still stung, and she'd try and chastise herself every time that she did. Her and Leonard were over, they had been ever since mother nature had decided to be a bitch and leave her childless for life.

Something so sickening surrounded Penny wherever she went, a constant grey cloud following her at all times. Although she could try and pin it on her mental instability and fragility, she knew that it was all Leonard. For so long, her life had revolved around him. If she was upset, she'd run to Leonard's apartment, climb into bed with him and cry into his arms all night long until the sun of a new day would shine through his curtains. Whenever she was ecstatic she'd spend hours giddily retelling whatever had happened to Leonard as they sat on her couch with her legs in his lap as they shared a dinner alone. If she'd been stressed, tired, lonely, bored, even sexual, Leonard had been there, and he was the one she wanted to go. But not having him around, left her feeling so helpless and alone. She had no idea why she was almost mourning over losing Leonard, she'd never been that way with anyone else, in fact, a week after a breakup she'd usually of slept with someone new. But not now, there was no light at the end of the tunnel for Penny, no smiles or laughs. Even on days when Bernadette would visit her, not once had she succeeded in pulling Penny from her bed. Somewhere inside of her, Penny hoped Leonard was as distressed as she was; because as awful as it sounded, she knew that he'd be the only one knowing how she felt, and that gave her just an inkling of relief.

Restless, and knowing that sleep was very much just a lustful wish, Penny resigned herself to the fact that she'd indeed be up for the rest of the day. She turned on her phone and immediately scrolled through her messages, hoping in vain that maybe Leonard had sent her something. What she did see was an unread text from Sheldon, simply telling her that he was going to Texas to visit his sick mother, but it was funny, because Penny had neither heard anything last night at the time of his text, nor did she receive a request from him to help with packing. She'd simply have to take his word for it. If there was at all a silver lining, it was that he was gone, and the apartment was empty, and just as she'd longed to, Penny almost ran across the hall, for the first time in week, and opened the door to Leonard's apartment. Immediately, Penny headed for his room, swinging the door open wide and practically jumping into his bed.

Everything was exactly the same as before, and it was almost eerie seeing the sheets made, and the memorabilia still littered around the room. Throwing back the comforter, Penny crawled underneath and wrapped herself back up again, until it was practically suffocating her, inhaling deeply face first into the pillow she smiled through teary eyes at how his scent lingered. Pulling the pillow next to her, Penny embraced it tightly, even going as far as wrapping her legs around it as she'd sometimes do to Leonard on cold or 'scary' nights. The lights were still off, and with her imagination Penny could almost imagine him there, she could almost imagine his breath on her neck and his arms around her; that was until the temptation to do something so utterly ridiculous popped into her head.

She wanted to talk to him; she wanted to hear his voice. Pulling her phone from her pocket Penny scrolled over his name as butterflies fluttered nervously throughout her. Scoffing at herself she drew up the keyboard and started to pen out a message to him.

Bags hung heavy under Leonard's eyes. It'd been a night filled with self-loathing and tears. He wasn't one to cry, but the full weight of the last week's events had finally caught up to him, and he was in a bad place indeed.

The constant gnawing in the back of his head rang out more than ever as he heaved himself from the bed and into the shower, as nightmarish as the situation was, the fact that even _he _was admitting that he wasn't good enough was an eye-opener. Leonard's shower was short, but filled with thought, not of physics, not of action or adventure, but of Penny. Not that that was any different from usual when he was in the shower, but it was the first time in years that she'd not joined him there, and it was the first time Leonard thought so lowly of her. Turning off the shower faucet the water immediately stopped, and for the first time in a while, Leonard looked at himself dead in the mirror as he climbed out.

All he saw was a cask of what he once was, where a smiling beaming face once sat was replaced by a dishevelled, tired, angry and weary one. It'd been just a week, one week! But even now Leonard felt so hopeless and so tired of self-pity and of being weak. He couldn't think of anything in his life that'd make him feel better, everything that had ever mattered to him was back in Pasadena.

Throwing a shirt and some shorts on, he walked back through into his room, it was still dark, the curtains were drawn and it couldn't have been past 6:30. Leonard threw himself back onto his bed, and reaching underneath it pulled his laptop from its black bag. He needed to formulate a plan, he needed to get out, he needed to do _something. _

What could he do though? Leonard was in no mood to go sight-seeing, to go to the beach, or to go to a theme park. Wracking his brain, what seemed like a genius idea struck him.

Counselling.

He didn't have to do everything in his life alone, Hell, he didn't have to do anything in his life alone, but all the principles he was brought up on screamed to avoid someone else's help, that meant not turning to a friend, a lover, or a family member, let alone a stranger. He'd been taught that letting other people inside your head was dangerous and destructive, and that it caused nothing but pain.

Leonard almost empathised with Penny, he remembered years back when Sheldon had tried to train her, he remembered just how angry it had made him, and yet there'd been nothing he could do. Sheldon preyed on the weak, and Leonard had no idea just how much Sheldon had done to hurt him.

But in his current state, he'd let a stranger probe his brain if it meant he could just fucking move on. He'd pined over Penny for months after their split, and it seemed to have such little effect on her, for his sake, he _needed _to move on with his life. He searched for New Jersey counsellors, and before long, he'd found many willing to have at trying to fix him. Using Google maps, Leonard searched for a counsellor closet to him. He smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever as he saw it, just three miles away, open all day. Booking himself in for the earliest appointment he could, Leonard took the liberty of trying to found out about who'd be trying to help him fix himself. One Stella Karin, she'd studied in England, left home at 16 and lived in Sweden while studying for her masters in psychology, and was a single mother of one, with published books on coping alone. Leonard nodded, if anyone could help him, it'd be her. Rubbing his temples, he tried to once again logically think through anything that he could. They'd tried it twice, it hadn't worked, and that was that, there was no point in trying to even fool himself about another shot with her; Penny was happy with Sheldon, and Leonard had to accept it.

He was tired of failing; he was tired of never being good enough.

Leonard noticed the face down IPhone, with light creeping out from under it in the dark room. He pulled it from the table and squinted as his eyes adjusted; the notification for a single new message was sitting just under the time.

His heart caught in his throat, it was Penny.

* * *

_**'Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,**_

_**It was love from above that could save me from hell,**_

_**She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,**_

_**How the devil himself could be pulled out of me'  
**_


	7. Games

**Hhheeyyyyyyyyyyy guyssss (*Awkwardly slinks back into room.*) **

**It's been a hella' while! And yea, let's just get the crappy excuse over with, shall we? **

**Some serious family issues, crappy work hours, playing spanish guitar in the sun to piss off my neighbors, and drinking some Cider as I did so. (NOT freaking Cidré! I tried it and it tastes the same, and the freaking ingredients are the same! The people I work with agree, but it's fun to say it with a posh accent! I work at a pretty prestigious golfclub ((Like £3000 pound a year fees)), and trust me, every chance I get I joke about some of the more eccentric clientele :P)**

**Saw a guest review today after not checking my email in months and they told me that they'd have to stop following the story, sorry I disappointed you, and it's sad to see, but I get it, it must get annoying to wait forever for an update, so again, sorry I upset you if you're reading this. **

**Short chapter, because I hauled-ass to just upload something because I feel pretty bad for not even trying much, so yea, it's short! **

**Hope you enjoy it, leave me a review if you like, and hopefully I can finally start writing some worthwhile stuff for you all :)**

* * *

**_7: Tired of this game. _**

_'Leonard, when are you coming home? x'_

So torturous in its simplicity, but so beautiful, too. Something flared up within Leonard, excitement? Longing? Anger? _Love? _ It looked like any other text she'd sent him when he'd been working late, but it was so different, Howard had talked to him just yesterday, and had told him just how badly Penny had been taking things, at the time Leonard felt nothing but indescribable rage, but now he felt pity for her. Leonard had seen her in a bad state before, but what Howard had described her as made her seem like just a husk, not the bouncy, lovable adorable Penny everyone loved, and so much he wanted to run back to Pasadena, wrap his arms around her and never let her go. He wanted to stop her crying, ever. Penny was perfect as far as Leonard was concerned, she always would be, no matter how often she wrecked his heart and left him wallowing in her wake.

But there was nothing left for him there. She would never open up to him, would never tell him the truth, would treat him coldly when all he ever wanted to do was help and make things better. Hell, all Leonard ever did for anybody was help, and the one person he did it for out of true want, rejected him. Did she have any idea how much that hurt him? To push away someone she claimed to love.

He slammed his hand down onto the bedside table and let out a strangled cry as his insides tore at him. How dare she have the audacity to contact him out of the blue, with no other premise than that of missing him? _She _was the one who made their relationship fall apart, and now _she _was the one who was going to have to face the consequences, Leonard was done with that game.

Locking his phone, he slipped it into his pocket. Maybe he could get over Penny, as hard as it was, she only seemed to bring him down, and as much as he loved her, and oh God did him, it just wasn't worth it. Lips turning up into a ghost of smile, Leonard's mind was somewhat starting to formulate a plan, he was finally going to make something of his life, and this Stella Karin was going to help him do it.

It must've been hours since Penny had penned out a text to Leonard, and she'd received nothing in return. She tried to think rationally, maybe he had his phone off, maybe it was out of charge, or maybe he was busy. The thought of Leonard being busy with another girl flitted through Penny's head, and almost made her reel at the image inside of her head. She couldn't imagine it, it was impossible, Leonard and Penny were the pieces that fit together, they melted into each other, there was no way Leonard could replace that.

Was there?

Penny wanted to cry, but moreover she wanted to cry into Leonard's arms. But since she wanted to cry _over_ Leonard, it made her wish moot. Instead she rose from Leonard's bed, blood rushing heavily into her head as she immediately became disoriented. Pushing past the nauseous feeling Penny stormed into his kitchen looking for some sort of alcohol, if she was ever going to do anything without moping about Leonard, she needed to drink, it was better than nothing. She was unsure of what was making her so damned dramatic, it was if Leonard had suddenly disappeared and Penny was the weeping widow left behind. In reality it was nothing like that, he was just a few hours away on a plane, but Penny couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't coming home. At first, she'd been sure that he'd just needed time to cool down, that it was just some kind of over-reaction; he'd always been like that.

It hit Penny like a ton of freaking bricks.

She had always done things like this to him. Criticize all his little flaws, push him away and make something out of nothing. He only ever wanted to do what was best for her, all the fucking time. He was always right about sleezy guys or drinking too much, but no matter what, no matter how many times she screwed up, he was always there. What had she done to repay him? Never open up to him about a single thing, and then proceed to time and time again break his heart. Suddenly the realisation hit her that maybe he purposely didn't text her back, that he really meant what he said about leaving Pasadena. It wasn't just a nightmare anymore, it was full-fledged possibility, and it was terrifying. Feeling sick to the stomach, she left the apartment, now scared to even return to the room of her ex-lover. Going straight through to her room, leaving all of 4A's cupboards ransacked, she picked up the snowflake, lay on her bed and thought about better times. It was all she had now.

Leonard knocked nervously on the door, palms clammy and head sweaty. Before long it swung open and he was met with the smile of one of the most beautiful people Leonard had ever seen. Long dark hair fell graciously down her shoulders and accentuated her incredible sparkling grey-ish eyes. She was Leonard's height, but held herself with such confidence that she was blinding in her beauty.

'_Hi!' _Stella chorused sweetly, energetically throwing her hand out for Leonard to take. As he went to shake it she didn't let go, and instead pulled him into the room before pulling away and gesturing for Leonard to take a seat.

'_I'm Stella, nice to meet you-' she_ looked over at her folder _'Leonard Hofstadter!' _She beamed. Her positivity was amazing, and Leonard couldn't help but want to smile at how upbeat she really was.

As he started to introduce himself, Penny was the last thing on his mind, all he could focus on was a stunning woman that seemed to genuinely want to help him who actually laughed at some of the feeble jokes he made in his current state, maybe things would be just fine.

* * *

**Ohhh yes, Stella is most certainly gonna have some involvement with Leonard, and oh, her and a certain someone may or may not have known each other years ago, but that's a secret! Til next time! **


End file.
